I trusted you
by red with fire pink with roses
Summary: what happens when jasper kisses bella? better than sounds...some bad language and vampires rock
1. Chapter 1

**I sadly do not own these characters, Stephanie Meyor does, she is an amazing writer and I absolutely love her books**

**Edwards awesome**

**ok well, i know i only have one chapter right now, but its pretty long...its not those like those baby chapters...if you want more fast, reviewwww lol**

Bella-

"Bella, love" I heard Edwards velvety voice in my ear "wake up, its only dream" I was gasping, I was glad Edward saved me from my nightmare, but I found that strange. He didn't usually wake me up, I would wake up on my own. I am very thankful he decided to awaken me, this night-mare was my worst. I was sleeping and when I awoke I was expecting Edward to be holding me, but instead there was nothing, nobody. Charlie came into my room, and he looked as if he had seen a ghost. " What is wrong?' I asked in my dream. " Bella honey, its Edward" he said cautiously "Edward!! Oh My God is he okay? Where is he?. The dream was all too vivid, I remember how worried I felt. " Edward, though I wish different. Is fine…but bells…They left" I remember feeling all to confused. "left what do you mean they left" "they packed and left, no one knows where". I remember screaming and screaming and the pain came back from the first time he did leave me. " he promised!" I screamed over and over, the dream felt to real, like life, and my vivid and accurate memories made it worse. Then Edwards stone cold hands and his cool breath, and his velvety voice woke me up from the horrible nightmare.

"Bella, I shall never leave you again, and once again I am truly sorry for making that mistake once"….."Edward stop, I know" I didn't want him blaming himself again.

"well, Bella are you alright?" Edward asked, I must have scared him with what I was saying while I was asleep because he looked worried and concerned. " I am now" and I kissed his perfectly shaped marble lips. "Do you wish to go back to sleep, love?" Edward asked me in an almost whisper. " no I am ok, im really not tired anymore, what time is it?" I had no idea how long I had been in the nightmare,

" its 3 am, you look tired, you should rest" wow three am. I was a little tired but I didn't want to wish another nightmare, so I wasn't going back to sleep. " I don't want to sleep" it sounded more of a whine than anything else.

"Edward, what special power o you think ill get?, I mean you read minds, Alice can tell the future" that was something I had been wondering, the volturi seemed to wonder that same thing. " honestly, I have no idea… it will probably be something amazing, just like you" and then I blushed " I love it when you do that" he told me that often when I blushed and I did that often " and I also love" and he gave me kiss, a kiss filled desire, and thirst( but not for blood), my heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest, as it always did when he kissed me. Something was different about this kiss, it was more uncareful than most, and when he was uncareful, I couldn't rember my name. He pulled away. A moment after he separated our lips, he whispered in my ear, " breathe Bella" and I let out s breath, he chuckled, I did forget to breathe sometimes when around him.

Involuntarily, I yawned. " rest my Bella, I will never leave you, I am yours and will always be here for you, now dream my Bella, dream good dreams" he whispered in my ear, his voice husky. He pulled me closer and I cuddled in to him, burring my face against his perfect marble chest. He began to hum my lullaby and I drifted into a slumber.

I woke up in Edwards arms. " good morning" he said and kissed me on my forehead. "mmm…morning" I replied. Edwards cell phone rang. " mhmm, yes, okay carlise, ill be there shortly, gooodbye' and he closed his phone

'your going?"

"yes, I shall be back shortly, but if you wish you can of course stay at my house until I return"

"mkay, will Alice be there?"

"yes, I believe so" I got ready then Edward and I headed over to his house.

" Bella, im going with Carlisle for some training, time is running out, we still have plenty of time but I want to be extra careful, if I….if I killed you Bella, I cant even think about it, but ill be back soon, I love you"

" I love you too, bye" and then he was gone. "hey Alice"

"hey Bella, I knew you were coming but I didn't have a chance to tell Edward, me Rosalie, and Emmett are going to go shopping, Jasper refuses to go, so you can stay here with him, or come shopping. "

Alone with jasper…was he strong enough yet, so that he wouldn't kill me… or should I just go shopping, oh how I dreade shopping and it would probably keep me away from Edward longer. That last part got me, Jasper it is. "uhm shopping, no thanks, ill just stay here.."

"ok, we will see you later" alice said unconcerned

"bye human girl" Emmett joked, and Rosalie just waved goodbye.

Then they all left. A few moments after they left, jasper into the living, and started watching TV. I knew the least about Jasper, other than Rosalie we were the furthest apart, but we did have a much better realtionship then Rosalie and I. A commercial came on, it was for birthday cakes, "what a better way to celebrate your 18th birthday than green nannies cake" My 18th birthday, that made me flinch, and it also reminded me of jasper… and my concerns before, what happens if I fall or something, maybe ill just sit right here and hope he dosnt lose control randomly. Jasper felt my tension an turned off the telvision

" its ok, I'm stronger in that area now, much stronger….but I do apologize for that, all that pain Edward caused you, was really my fault, im truly sorry"

"jasper no, dont apologize, it wasn't your fault, no one blames anyone, well Edward balmes himself but im trying to get him not to, and it's the past now so, no need to worry"

"thanks, but your still tense and afraid, I really am better now, after that, I gained much better control, your safe, do you think Alice would put you in danger, and Edward would not have let me even near you, its okay" that did make me feel better, so he wasn't going to kill me that can make someone feel much better. " there you go" and he laughed.

"thanks Jasper,"

"anytime"

Jasper and I talked, we talked about a lot of things, He was amazingly easy to talk to, I even told him that I was scared, scared to be bitten, even though it's the one thing I want, other than Edward, but I want to be a vampire to be with Edward, so it fits. He was a good listener. We were sitting next to each other on the couch, I wasn't afraid anymore, not one bit. While I was telling him about my fears, something change in his eyes. " and how Edward may not like me anymore"

" that's impossible, for someone to have you, they would never give you up" then he did the unexpected, he took my hand. Looked into my eyes, and kissed me. WHAT THE HELL, JASPER WAS KISSING ME, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO his lips parted with mine, his lips were cold like Edwards with a different taste, my lips moved with his, but un willingly HE HAD TO STOP, wait wow, he was a good kisser, BUT NO, why couldn't I push him away, he was not ebing careful, he could could, kill me, I went to go push him away and the door squeaked open.

I pushed jasper away, I didn't eant to be kissing him. I heard a gasp, a pain filled gasp. I turned, Edward, stood at the door. His face was pained, he was hurt, and it was my fault and yet I did nothing

Edward-

I couldn't wait to see Bella, I could almost taste the reunion of us together again. I opened the door, and stopped. Jasper and Bella, my Bella, were kissing. I couldn't tell if Bella was holding jasper or pushing him away, at that moment I didn't analyze it. My heart, even though dead, was ripped,. She ha kissed jakeub yes, but, that's different, jasper was family. "how could you" was all that came ro mind to say. I read jaspers thoughts" oh man, Edward, shit, holy fucking dammit, what did I just do. Oh damn Bella I have to apolagize to Bella. What the hell came over me..ALICE" then I tuned him out. "Bella what, what happened" I asked my voice sounded pained even I could hear it.

Edward I..I.. I didn't….really I didn't, I was just about to, and than u came an" then tears started to fill her face. Id deal with jasper later right now me Bella, had to talk

BELLA

I was crying,. Next thing I knew, Edward scooped me up and he was running. I knew exactly where. Our meadow


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for not updating like at all but u couldn't imagine how crazy its been I havnt even finished the host!! And I only own these characters in my dreams… not in real life **

BELLA

I was crying,. Next thing I knew, Edward scooped me up and he was running. I knew exactly where to; Our meadow.

I had no idea what I would say to him, what would be my excuse? I didn't kiss him he kissed me -- oh yeah real original Bella. How could I…He was surely going to leave me now. He was going to leave me and this time it wasn't going to be to protect me it was going to be because I screwed up. He was going to breakup with me and it was all my fault. When he put me down in the meadow silent tears ran down my face and I was shaking. It wasn't the crying that you were loud and made a lot of noise, it was the crying you couldn't help, I tried to hold the tears back but they refused to listen, there was nothing else I could do. I could only imagine what I looked like.

Edward.

I took her to _our _meadow. I had no idea what to say or do. I was sure if I could cry I would have more tears than Bella running down my face at this moment. I was still. I was absolutely blank until a few words just shot out of my mouth. " what was that"

Without relizing it I was trying hard to keep the pain out of my voice and restraining myself to fall to the ground. You could hear the restraint in my voice.

Bella

"what was that?" his voiced sounded pained and restrained. He was probably restraing himself so he wouldn't just say I hate you bye. I of course, had no answer to his question.

But I gave it my best shot. "Edward I…"and I trailed of. He looked at me wating for more. " I mean I…Im sorry" that didn't quite answer his question and of course made me sound extremely guilty. " I didn't want to, not at all but" and he cut me off " you didn't want to but what but you had to is that it Bella?' He was so sad, so angry, so pained. " Edward…" my voice got lower I could barley hear myself but I knew he heard me " he. Kissed. Me." so original Bella. I told myself not to say that but I had nothing else to say.

He stayed still for a second. Thinking. " what am I supposed to do now Bella?" He was breaking up with me for sure. "Edward I don't know…well I do" my voice almost disappeared at the last part. "then what Bella, because I have no idea"… was I really supposed to say, well ur supposed to break up with me? Maybe I was but I didn't want to, however, my mouth got a mind of its own. "well.." and the tears came, if u had just looked at my face you would have sworn it was raining at this point. "well im a horrible person and you deserve someone better and you know it… you know it" it felt like and earthquake was going on with all my shaking.

Edward

She didn't really expect me to break up with her. Did she? Is that what she wanted? Maybe that was the reason for this, so I would leave. Did she want me gone…

"Bella…" I didn't know how to finish that sentence. "is that what you want?" it almost killed me to say it. She got very confused "NO" she almost screamed "why would I ever want that Edward, your more than I deserve" I was confused, I still didn't know what to say or what had happened. " Bella just tell me what happened." I needed to know what went on back there. " He..His lips and mine and I and I thinking and I tried then you and and" she covered her face after she said that. I still didn't really know what had happened. She didn't give me anything that really made sense. Then I heard her voice again it was low, even I could barely hear it " Edward I didn't comprehend what was happening until my mind went of and I relized it. As soon as I did i went to push him away but that's when you came through the door. I deserve to be thrown in a river, with lots of sharp pointy painful rocks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters and even though I wish I am I am not Stephanie Meyer & I do not own twilight or Edward =/**

**I tried to put bella's writing in put its to sloppy and you cant read it sorry**

Edward pov:

"Oh my sweet Bella" She was crying, my fury and pain had made her cry, I made her cry. " you deserve no such thing, I on the other hand.. ."

Bella pov"

"Edward don't you dare say you deserve anything bad, you did nothing wrong and for once will you just accept that I am a horrible person?"

"Bella" he said in a musical and slightly amused voice. "I can not believe nor accept that because it is not true. What did you do wrong Bella?" HE WAS ASKING ME WHAT I DID WRONG ? I made him go crazy. Me and jasper were kissing how could you ask what I _did_ wrong"

" Bella you just admitted to me that when you realized what was going on you tried to stop him" he souned very amused now, amused now? He must have been insane I drove him mental. I drove a vampire mental.

" well yes but…I… Edward I…" I couldn't say that I actually enjoyed it a bit I mean he was a good kisser…(_sorry kind of out of character but…yeah)_

"Bella what do you want to say? Just say it"

"your going to hate me" it was true even though he should already hate me this small fact will drive him into utter hatred.

" Bella that is in no way possible I will always love you"

" not after this…the thing is Edward however much I wanted him to stop, I did semi kind of…ugh Edward I _enjoyed_ it. The danger of it, him being careless not worrying he was going to kill me… in the beginning my mind couldn't differentiate the difference between you and him because of the stone cold lips, but it was the danger the carefulness the kiss lacked that made me realize who was kissing me, but I liked it. I'm so sorry Edward…so so sorry" his face was taking everything I said in I couldn't tell what he was feeling, although he probably wanted to rip my heart out. I would miss him very much… maybe id try that cliff again… but this time try to not let Alice see that would be hard… then again they will all hate me soon enough anyway so they would be happy to see me go. "Bella… Is that why you think ill hate you? Because you liked being kissed? I know I'm being careful and it makes it less…enjoyable…I'm sure Jasper has some skill in that area, I can not blame you for liking it, and there was nothing you could do about the actual kiss so stop feeling so guilty, love." he was just too understanding sometimes.

Edward pov

She thought that id be mad because this kiss felt good…oh that silly girl. " Edward this is unforgivable yet you forgive me. I don't deserve forgiveness!." how could she not see that she did nothing wrong. " Bella you did nothing wrong"

"how can you say that when I" I cut her off I had an idea.

"Bella may I ask you something?" "Edward you can always ask me anything what is it". She looked very confused at the moment. I looked into her eyes, cupped on hand around her chin and the other on her back. I pushed her closer. Then kissed her. I was careful of course but less then usual I had to prove my point. I heard her heart beat faster then stop for a short amount of time. I was satisfied with her reaction and slowly ended the kiss. She wasn't breathing. "Bella love don't forget to breathe" and she took a slow deep breath. "Now about my question, which did you like more. My kiss or his?".


End file.
